


Wrecked By the Wine Dark Sea

by Magnetism_bind



Category: Black Sails
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Angst, Bargaining, Bisexuality, Blackmail, Canon Era, Canon-Typical Violence, Denial of Feelings, Desire, Drunken Confessions, F/M, Forced Masturbation, Hostage Situations, Idiots in Love, Jealousy, Late Night Conversations, Love at First Sight, M/M, Masturbation, Multi, Multiple Partners, Pining, Polyamory, Rough Kissing, Voyeurism, pirate attacks, talking about past sexual experiences
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-23
Updated: 2018-02-23
Packaged: 2019-03-22 15:36:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13767198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magnetism_bind/pseuds/Magnetism_bind
Summary: While enroute to starting a new life in Nassau, James McGraw and his two lovers are taken captive by pirates. It doesn't take James long to realize he once knew the pirate captain in the navy years ago, stirring old memories and long-buried desires.When the pirate captain offers him a bargain ~ one night in his cabin ~ in return for their safe passage, how can James refuse?





	Wrecked By the Wine Dark Sea

“Yea, and if some god shall wreck me in the wine-dark deep,  
even so I will endure…  
For already have I suffered full much,  
and much have I toiled in perils of waves and war.  
Let this be added to the tale of those.” 

  
― Homer, The Odyssey

 

*  *  * 

James brought his sword up and stabbed the attacking pirate straight through the neck. Blood spurted from the man’s death wound and he stepped aside, letting the dying man fall heavily to the deck, joining the other corpses already strewn across the deck. There was blood on his coat, his hair, his face. The stench of it filled the air, running into his nostrils, making it hard to breathe, but he pressed onward, sword clasped tight.

Another pirate accosted him and he slashed the man across the chest, watching the pirate stumble back with a cry. A third appeared from the corner of his eye and he turned sharply, but the pirate brought his sword down hard, knocking James’s from his grasp. He stepped back, reaching for his dagger, but they had surrounded him at last.

One of the pirates raised a sword to his throat and James swallowed hard, waiting for it. The sun beat down relentlessly upon his face; his lips tasted copper and salt when he licked them. This wasn’t how he wanted to die, but he had done his best to protect Thomas and Miranda. Even if it wasn’t enough in the end.

_Oh god, Thomas and Miranda._

“Hold.” The command rang out sharply in the brisk sea air.

 James jerked his head up to see the pirate captain up above him on the quarterdeck, gazing down at James as he straightened up from cleaning his sword on a dead man’s shirt.

The pirate stood there, clutching his blade and staring down at him, and there was a prickle of something skittering along James’s bones, like a ghost had walked through a dream and opened a door he didn’t even remember existing in the first place. The wind whipped through the air, catching his freed hair, blowing it across his bloodied cheek.

“Why can’t we kill him?” One of the pirates demanded, still holding his sword to James’s throat. “What are we waiting for?”

“Follow my fucking orders.” The captain growled. “Where are the other passengers?”

James was thrown to the deck, hands wrenched behind his back as the pirates descended to the hold. He panted heavily against the blood-slicked deck, trying to control himself. They wouldn’t harm anyone who was worth ransoming, he was certain of that, and the passengers below were certainly worth ransoming.

He looked up to find the pirate captain still watching him.

James’s eyes burned with simmering rage as he gazed back. The pirate captain cut a dark figure, all in black with long black ringlets tied back, a short trim beard graced his face and his sword now hung at his side. There was something about his stance that struck James. As though he were holding himself carefully, guarding his reserves of strength.

James’s gut clenched tightly as Thomas and Miranda were brought up on deck. Thomas took a half step towards him automatically. James gave him a quick shake of his head, a gesture that made Thomas stop in his tracks. It didn’t pass unnoticed by the pirate captain.

“Take the passengers aboard and put them in the hold.” He ordered, then pointed to James. “Restrain him and take him to my cabin.”

James struggled then, but they chained his wrists in front of him and hauled him over the plank to the pirate ship. The last he saw of Thomas and Miranda the two of them were being escorted down into the belly of the ship.

 *  *  *

The shackles around his wrists clanked dully as James was led into the captain’s cabin. The pirate set to guard him, a tall blonde man with a surly expression waited with him, his hand resting heavily on James’s shoulder until the captain entered and gave him a nod. The blonde left with a sideways look at James.

He was alone with the pirate captain.

Still the sense of familiarity, that he had seen the man somewhere before, simply wouldn’t leave him. James watched as the man made his way around behind the broad desk. He was correct in his previous assessment. The pirate captain possessed only one leg. His left was a metal contraption, fitted into a boot clumping along on the cabin floor.

The man turned and caught James watching him. His expression tightened, but he sat down with an obvious sigh of relief all the same.

He sat there with his eyes closed for a moment, drawing a breath. There was sweat on his forehead and at the base of his throat.

His eyes, when he opened them again, were a startling vivid blue that made James catch his breath. He looked away for a moment, his gaze going to the bookcase that stood in the corner of the room. In another situation, he should have enjoyed seeing what the bookcase held, but today was hardly the right circumstance.

“The passenger list says a James, Thomas and Miranda Barlow are aboard _The Verity_?” The pirate let his gaze rest speculatively on James. “Which one are you claiming to be?”

“James Barlow.” James straightened up. Claiming? What kind of fucking question was that? What did the man know of their disguises? There was no reason anyone in London would suspect anything, let alone a pirate.

“And your purpose aboard _The Verity_?”

“I’m traveling with my cousins to New Providence Island, where we’re to take up residence.” James recited easily. The fiction rolled off his tongue simply enough by now. It was a perfectly ordinary tale. There was nothing strange about it. He had expected questions about ransom prospects, not to have their story investigated. Not by a pirate at any rate.

The pirate captain nodded thoughtfully to himself. “Not entirely improbable, I grant you, but neither is it true.”

“What?” James looked at him in surprise. Of all the people to doubt his story, a pirate captain wasn’t the one he had expected. What right did this man have to question them?

The man half smiled, and the change in his demeanor was extraordinary. The smile made the flicker of remembrance burn even brighter in James’s mind. He had seen this man smile before, but _where?_  How was that possible? Surely he would remember.

“Try again.”

“I don’t know what you mean.” James strove for patience. His temper was a thing he had had to learn how to master during his service at sea, and usually he managed to do so. “I’ve told you my name and why I was aboard _The Verity_. Now if you could tell me why my cousins and I have been brought aboard this vessel, I’d appreciate it.”

“Would you rather I had let them kill you?” The captain asked idly.

James gritted his teeth at the idiocy of the question and finally answered, “No.”

The pirate nodded. “Again.”

“What do you expect me to say?” James stared at him. What was the man getting at? Why did he think there was anything suspect about the three of them traveling together? How could he possibly know of their background, or their true names? He couldn’t.

The pirate captain shrugged. “Something with a ring of truth to it.” He sat back in his chair. “The three of you...”

“What about us?” James was instantly on guard.

“You said the three of you would be taking up residence together?”

“Yes.” James waited warily.

“Interesting.” The captain mused, leaning back in his chair.

“Why am I here?” James demanded, impatience biting through the surface of his demeanor again.

“You’re here because I’m waiting for you to tell me the truth.”

“I’ve told you already.” James started again.

“I can always ask one of your companions to join us.” The captain regarded him lazily with his blue eyes, cool and calm as the sea. “If you like.”

“I…” James faltered. “I don’t know what you expect me to say.”  The last thing he wanted was for either Thomas or Miranda to be brought into this room. He licked his lips nervously, absently surprised by the taste of salt still lingering there.

The captain sighed. “You disappoint me.” He reached for the decanter on his desk. “I expected more from you, lieutenant.”

James froze.  “What did you call me?” There had been nothing on _The Verity_ to give away his previous record in the navy. There was no way this man could know that, and so how did he?

“Lieutenant James McGraw, though I suppose you could have been promoted since then.” The captain poured himself a glass of brandy. “A word of advice, lieutenant, if you’re going to start a new life with a new identity, you should take a completely new name to complete the picture.”

James had suggested it as a matter of fact, but Thomas was fond of the name James, and so he had kept it _. Damn it, Thomas._

James stared hard at the man, and then the flicker in his bones turned to something more solid, tugging at his memory with restless fingers. If he could see the man without the beard, perhaps. If he could only see him clearly. “What…”

“So if you’re James McGraw as I know you to be, then your lovely companions are Thomas and Miranda Hamilton.”

James moved forward without thought. “If you touch a hair on either of their heads, I will kill you with my bare hands.” If he could only get his hands around the man’s throat, he could very easily carry out that threat. It would be a simple matter to break his neck. You just had to catch the bones just right.

The pirate captain merely leaned back in his chair and gazed up at him wearily. “You will stop there if you want to keep them safe.”

Jams froze, drawing back slightly. “Why are you…” What did the man want from him?

They gazed at each other in silence and the pirate finally raised his glass to his lips. His hand curved around the glass and James watched the motion, watched his throat as he swallowed, the steady gaze of his eyes. And there, at the hollow of his throat rested a charm on a chain that rattled at his memory almost harder than the man’s restless blue eyes beat at the gates of his own locked chambers. A small ship’s wheel of  woven silver lying against that tan skin. The pirate swallowed again, glancing away from him for a moment, and James nearly laughed as the memory slid into place. He _knew_ the man now, but how had the man he’d known in his previous life wound up as captain of a band of bloodthirsty pirates. That query he had no answer for.

There was a knock at the door, interrupting the heavy silence, and the blonde pirate entered again.

“We’ve finished transferring the contents of the hold. They’re taking inventory now.”

The captain nodded, reaching again for the decanter. “Bring me the list when it’s finished.’

The blonde nodded, his gaze flickering to James. “What do you want done with this one?”

 “Take him down to the storeroom for now. Keep him apart from the others.” The captain eyed James as the blonde reached for his arm. “And Billy? Bring me the woman.”

There was the faintest pulse of relief in James’s shoulders at the man’s words. Miranda could hold her own against this man’s questions. It was Thomas he worried about, Thomas who would have given away the game. Though there was no game to be played anymore. James’s heart sank at the knowledge of that. Somehow the captain had already known who they were before he even took the ship, almost as though he had been hunting them intentionally. How he had known that, James didn’t know.

Someone had betrayed them.

 *  *  *

He was marched down below deck and shoved into a small store room off the main hold.

Billy loomed over him. “If you know what’s good for you, you’ll sit quietly and cause no trouble.”

James simply lifted his shackled arms as though to say _‘how could I possibly cause any trouble?’_

Billy just glowered at him and went out, bolting the door behind him.

James sank to the floor and leaned his head back against the wall.

John fucking Silver. Of all the men to meet again, of all the places, he had never expected this.

 *  *  *

Miranda examined the pirate captain’s cabin with unfeigned interest. It was an unexpectedly pleasant room, with a broad bookshelf in one corner that she would have enjoyed perusing on any other occasion. What did a pirate care for books? What sort of man was it that had taken them captive? There was a tall globe standing in the corner, a desk with maps spread over it, and behind it, sat the man who had taken their ship and with it, them.

He rose to his feet in a gentlemanly gesture as she moved across the cabin towards him.

“It’s a pleasure to welcome you aboard my ship, ma’am.” the captain nodded to her. “Would you care for a glass of brandy?”

“Please.” Miranda drew closer, looking at him with curiosity. “May I know the name of my host?” It did no harm to be polite and any woman in any uncomfortable situation knew the value of gleaning as much information as she could.

“Captain John Silver, at your service.” He bowed slightly.

“Miranda Barlow.” She offered him her hand and after a moment Silver took it.

He brushed his lips gently over the back of her hand, lips barely skimming her skin, and Miranda smiled at him.

Silver smiled slightly in return and offered her the brandy.

“Thank you.” Miranda examined it with a contemplative expression before taking a sip. “What exactly are you hoping to learn, Captain?” She continued to stroll around the room as though she were at a parlor back in London, examining the chart hanging on the wall, and drawing closer to the bookshelf.

There was a bed in the opposite corner behind the desk, but she did not approach it, though she gave it a frank gaze all the same.

“What makes you think I don’t simply wish to enjoy the pleasure of your company?” Silver asked, watching her as he sipped at his own brandy.

“I’m sure you have no shortage of charming company when you want it.”

Miranda gave him another flash of a smile as she finally moved in closer and examined the books. There were nautical books, and charts of course, but also a few volumes of poetry and fiction that she had not thought to find in a pirate’s private collection.

“Please, join me.” He indicated the chair drawn close to the desk and Miranda moved to accept it.

“Your library is rather intriguing, captain. Might I ask whether they’re all yours?”

“You may, and they are.” Silver chuckled. “Now, would you be so kind, ma’am as to tell me about yourself and your companions.”

Miranda gave a delicate half shrug of her shoulders. “What is there to tell? Thomas is my husband, James is my cousin through marriage. We’re traveling together from London.” Her voice was perfectly composed, with just the slightest touch of boredom. Travel arrangements were so tedious after all.

“Really.” Silver mused, rubbing his thumb along his chin. “Your cousin, you say.”

“Yes.” Miranda took another sip of the brandy. It was a little strong, but certainly as fine as anything she’d tasted in London.

“And why were you traveling to New Providence?”

“We’re taking up residence there.”

“Why?”

Miranda shrugged her shoulder elegantly once more. “Why does anyone travel to the new world? A breath of fresh air, a change of pace. New beginnings, new opportunities. Surely a pirate could see the appeal of these things.”

“For the three of you?” Silver inquired casually.

“Yes.” Miranda stated steadily, without lowering her gaze from Silver’s.

He smiled and took another sip of his own brandy.

“May I ask you a question?” Miranda said, almost idly.

“Ask anything you like.” Silver tapped his finger on the rim of his glass, gazing at the map currently spread across his desk for a moment. When he wasn’t speaking, playing the part of fierce captain, Miranda had the impression that he was younger than she had first envisioned. It intrigued her even more, and solidified the thought in her mind that had arisen solely from the fact that the captain had requested James’s presence first in his cabin. The thought she now posed as a question.

“How do you know James?”

Silver’s gaze jerked up to meet hers. He looked at her steadily for a moment, and then, licked his lips almost reflectively, before he responded. “What makes you ask that?”

What he meant was _what makes you think I know him?_

“I’m merely curious.” Miranda said. “You asked to have him brought to your cabin first after all.” It was just a feeling she had, but from Silver’s reaction, she had the distinct impression she had been right.

Silver took a sip of his brandy and didn’t answer.

At last Billy returned once more.

“Bring me the other one next.” Silver ordered, before turning to Miranda with another bow. “Thank you for your time, Mrs. Barlow.”

“Good day, Captain Silver.”

 *  *  *

She passed Thomas in the hall as they led him up on deck, and there was only a moment of their fingers brushing together and then they were apart once more.

Back in the hold, Miranda took several deep breaths, trying to gain a sense of her surroundings and what was happening in their imprisonment. What did the captain want from them? To understand that fully, she needed to speak with James.

Where were they holding him? Why were they being kept apart? Why couldn’t she see him?

She fought the rising urge to scream, not just with despair but pure and barely restrained frustration.

Forcing it down, she took another deep breath, closing her eyes as she composed herself. They would get through this and survive, the same as they had survived before. It was a matter of patience and determination, and it could be done. Miranda knew how to endure worse fates than this. She had survived London society; she could definitely survive being captured and held aboard a pirate ship.

 *  *  *

Thomas was taken up to the cabin and left there the same as the previous captives. He looked around the cabin with the same curiosity Miranda had showed, his eyes going to the books the same as both his wife’s  and James’s gaze had.

He was perhaps, of the three, the first to notice the leather book left upon the coverlet of the bed in the corner, the bucket of water near the window seat, and the discarded bandages lying in a heap. Thomas didn’t let his gaze rest upon any of these items for long, he simply took them in, and then turned his attention to the man before him.

“You look as though you have questions.” The pirate captain stood at the window and turned to look at him. “Ask them.”

“Thank you.” Thomas inclined his head politely. “May I ask who I am addressing?”

“You may.” The captain smiled. “My name is John Silver. And you are?”

“Thomas Barlow.” Thomas said promptly. “Where is my other companion?”

“Ah, your charming cousin, James?” Silver walked back over to his chair and sat down once more. “I’ve put him somewhere safe for the time being, in the hopes that his manners will eventually improve.”

“What are you hoping to get in return from him?” Thomas inquired. Why were they being kept apart like this? What did the man want from them? In particular, what did he want from James? That was what had Thomas the most concerned.

“What is he to you?” Silver asked in return.

“My cousin.”

Silver nodded in an understanding manner. “A cousin in the manner of Achilles and Patroclus, perhaps?” He asked, almost idly.

Thomas didn’t so much as blink at the insinuation. “I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.”

Silver shrugged. “I’m merely trying to ascertain whether there’s a purpose in keeping him alive.”

At that Thomas’s fists clenched. “What do you mean?”

“I know your father will pay a ransom for you, my dear Lord Hamilton, as well as your wife.” Silver tilted his head slightly, watching Thomas struggle not to react to the name he had just uttered. “But I don’t know if he’ll bother paying for Lieutenant McGraw’s head to remain on his shoulders. What do you think of the matter?”

Thomas swallowed tightly. It was true and they both knew it. “What do you want?”

“Tell me the truth.” Silver leaned forward, watching him intently. “What is James McGraw to you?”

Thomas hesitated. “What do you intend do if I tell you?”

“I will still have a decision to make.” Silver says. “Just one that will be slightly more informed.” He paused and looked at Thomas thoughtfully. “I do give you my word that he will remain alive.”

Thomas hesitated again and then finally, said very softly. “He’s my…partner.”

“Your partner.” Silver repeated.

Thomas sighed, and then in the next breath, he surrendered the knowledge of his heart. “Partner. Companion. Lover. Whatever you wish to call it, he is that, most dear to me. Mine.”

“Yours.”

“Mine, and Miranda’s.”

Silver blinked faintly at that, the first sign of surprise he’d shown during the entire conversation. “Both of you.”

“Yes.” Thomas said defiantly. “He belongs to both of us.” He faced Silver openly without shame or regret. “So now that you know the truth, captain, what are you going to do?”

Silver shrugged. “What do you think I should do?” He asked curiously. “Would your father pay for his return?”

If he said yes, would Silver send him back to England with them? If he said no, would he kill James? He had said regardless that James would remain alive, but could Thomas trust him? He didn’t know. He couldn’t bear the thought of James in his father’s hands. Any fate was better than that.

“I truly don’t know. How much is he paying for mine and Miranda’s?”

Silver’s expression was almost sympathetic. “More than you could pay for Lieutenant McGraw, my lord.”

Thomas bit his lip in anguish and then asked quietly. “May we at least see him? Please?”

His plea was earnest and truly heartfelt and Silver nodded. “I’ll have him brought to you.”

“Thank you.” Thomas hesitated, as though there was something more he wanted to say, but restrained himself.

He went quietly, for now, still reflecting on the knowledge that he had gained during the visit to the captain’s cabin and what it meant.

 *  *  *

James was hauled out of the storeroom, led across the hold to a small cabin at the opposite end of the ship. The door was opened and he was thrust in and then the door promptly closed and bolted again.

“James.” Thomas was by his side in an instant “Are you all right?”

“I’m perfectly all right.” James sat up on his knees. “He…they didn’t touch me.”

“Why did he want to speak with you?” Miranda looked at him.

James glanced at her and then Thomas. “What did he say to you?”

“He knows who we are.” Thomas said quietly, his hand stroked James’s chained wrists gently, like making an apology of it.

James swallowed. “What did he say? Are they demanding a ransom?”

“There’s a ransom for Miranda and I at least.” Thomas’s voice grew even quieter. “But somehow…he knows you, James.” There was an unspoken question in his statement.

“It seems almost personal.” Miranda agreed. “The questions he asked when I spoke to him, what he wanted to know, it verged on the intimate.”

There was an unspoken question in her words, and James appreciated the courtesy Miranda was allowing him there, while at the same time resenting the necessity of speaking of this matter at all. Even with these two most dear to him. Especially with them.

“He does know me. At least…I knew him once. He was in the navy." James sat back, leaning his head against the wall. “We were on the same ship for a time.”  It had all come back to him while he waited in the storeroom.

Silver had been a sailor on his first ship, just an ordinary sailor, except he wasn’t. He was always there in the corner of Flint’s mind, catching his eye. A little too bright to be ignored, a little too attractive to forget. James had done his best, but he was only human after all.

"What happened?"

"I caught him with another sailor, in a situation that could have gotten him hanged." He remembered Silver on his knees, head bobbing between the other man’s thighs, the low groans issuing from his throat. "It was my duty to report him and I didn't. But I told them both that if I ever caught them again, I'd have them flogged."

He fell silent as the memory filled the room. He remembered the salt in the air, the way he had been unable to move, frozen in place as he watched them, as he watched Silver.

"What happened?" Thomas asked after a moment.

"Nothing. Silver jumped ship the next time we were in port and that was the end of it. I never saw him again. Till now." He had wondered for the first few months, whether he’d see Silver again, and then the man had drifted from his mind as more time passed.

There was silence in the cabin.

“Why did you let them go?” Miranda asked the question in the following silence.

“How could I turn them in?” James returned sharply. “It would have been hypocritical of me. Though…I was so angry for them, for being careless. For being stupid.” That was what had bothered him the most when he thought about it now, and at the time back then. How careless Silver had been. If they had been seen by anyone else, been caught by anyone else it would have been over for them. That knowledge had been at the forefront of his mind and caused him to lash out harshly at the man. James knew that now.

He paused, that utmost memory of Silver stirring others in his mind as well. Darker, more buried memories. Memories that he had not thought of for years now.

“What else?” Miranda pressed, still sensing there was more there. She always had a sense about these things.

James sighed. “Sometime before that…I caught him masturbating…I _watched_ him masturbate.” He felt his hands clench in his chains, this a confession he had never planned to make. “It was late one night and I was on watch. He was curled up in a corner of the deck. No one would have thought twice, just to look at him, but something about him caught my attention.” He cleared his throat. “And then I realized what he was doing, and I couldn’t take my eyes off him.”

Just that slight figure in the dark, his hand moving slowly over his own cock. James caught in the spell of that motion, mesmerized by it. The brief expanse of Silver’s throat as he leaned his head back against the wood, slim and pale in the moonlight.

He felt Thomas squeeze his hand and lifted his strained face to meet Thomas’s gaze.

“It wasn’t until he had finished that he saw me. We never spoke of it then, or after.” He had thought once or twice of speaking of it to Silver, and then once the man had been caught with the other sailor, Flint had done his best to banish all thoughts of him from his mind.

It had nearly worked. For the most part.

 *  *  *

They sat in a huddle on the floor, the three of them as close together as they could get. James had taken advantage of the wash basin and washed in a perfunctory fashion. He knew there was still blood on his face and didn't care. 

“What are we going to do?” Miranda asked eventually.

“I don’t know.” Thomas said. “Until we know for certain whether they’ve

made a ransom demand, and where they intend to return us…what can we do?” He was most certainly thinking of his father, and the lengths he would go to, to maintain the reputation of his house.

“He has to want something.” James mused, rubbing his thumb against his chin as he thought on the matter. Silver had to have some ulterior motive, beyond monetary desires, in seizing them. He just knew it.

“Yes, I suspect it’s money.” Thomas murmured.

“Even pirates occasionally want other things.” James said almost tartly. They of all people, should understand that.

Thomas gave him a look, but refrained from saying anything on that particular topic. 

Silence again. James rested his head against the wall. He had lost track of time. 

“There’s one more thing.” Thomas hesitated again, glancing at Miranda. “He asked what you were to us.”

James stiffened. He should have seen this coming; he should have guessed that Silver would pose that question to them. “Did you tell him?”

“I hoped it would…I don’t know, make him more sympathetic to our cause.” Thomas confessed. “I’m sorry, James.”

“Damn and blast.” James slumped in his chains. _"T_ _homas_.”

“I’m sorry. I had to try something.” Thomas said wearily. “And pirates, well some of them at any rate, have to understand why we would strive to get away from London and make a new life for ourselves. James, they of all people…”

James almost wanted to laugh; of course Thomas understood and had come to the same conclusion. Thomas always knew. He reached for him, pressing a kiss upon the back of Thomas’s hands, clasping them.

 *  *  *

The door opened and the two pirates in the doorway gazed down at down them, before pointing to James. “You.”

James rose slowly to his feet. There was no surprise in this. Ever since Silver had sent him down to the hold, he’d known the captain would want to speak with him again. It had only been a matter of time.

“Where are you taking him?” Miranda asked. She asked only as a formality. They all knew where he was being taken.

“Captain wants to see him.”

“Why?” Thomas demanded, rising to his feet as well.

“Thomas.” James shook his head. “I’ll be fine.” He didn’t struggle this time as they led him away.

 *  *  *

Back in the captain’s cabin, James waited for Silver to speak. As he did, he remembered the sailor from the time before. He used to watch Silver on the riggings, admiring his nimble work, the strength in his legs as he climbed. The easy carefree laugh he had when he played dice with the other sailors. The way his eyes would catch the light dancing over the waves.

“So what now?” He asked when Silver remained fixedly silent.

Silver spread his hands expansively. “Your companions, your _cousins_ , were more forthcoming than you, lieutenant.”

“Stop calling me that.” James snarled.

To his surprise, Silver smiled at that. “What would you prefer I call you? Mr. McGraw? Mr. Barlow?”

James turned his face away, hands clenching tightly in fists. He had to maintain control of himself; he had to.

“Don’t you turn away from me.” Silver pushed himself to his feet and swung around the desk.

James looked back at him, startled by the abrupt vehemence in his voice.  “What?”

Silver tilted his head, gazing at him. “You still think you’re better than me.” He murmured. “Even now.”

James blinked. “What?”

“You warm the marital bed of a well-known lord and lady, causing a scandal that rippled notoriously through London society and disrupted the navy itself and yet somehow you _still_ think you’re better than me.”

James grinned in spite of himself. He couldn’t help it. There, in the frustration and boldness of Silver’s words, was the sailor he had once known. “I never jumped ship.”

“I bet you sucked cock though.” Silver retorted.

At that James’s grin thinned to one of bitter satisfaction. “I have and do.  What of it?”

Silver laughed. “Not a damn thing. I just wanted to hear you say it.”

He turned back to the desk, his hand pausing to rest upon it. “For the record there is a ransom offered for you. Not as much as there is for the return of the Hamiltons, of course, but it’s still considerable nonetheless, considering you’re only a lieutenant.”

James’s jaw tightened. “What will it take for you to let them go?” He didn’t have to force the words, they slipped free of their own accord. Anything it took, he would give freely.

Silver turned his head slowly, gazing at him. “What are you offering?”

James looked down at his hands for a moment, doing his best to consider the matter, and then back up at Silver.

“Turn me over to whoever you want, if you must. I don’t care. But allow them safe passage to Nassau and then leave them in peace.” James pressed closer. “Please.” He had nothing to reassure himself that Silver would do this, that he could guarantee it, let alone fulfill it, but at the same time, James couldn’t help asking. As long as there was a chance of ensuring their safety, he had to ask.

“And what if I want something else?” Silver asked after a moment.

_Even pirates occasionally want other things._

James gazed back at him. “What?”

“If I asked you to…” Silver paused, biting his lip and then continuing, “What would you do to secure that safe passage?”

“Anything.” James said, a little too quickly, and he knew it, and Silver knew it, seeing the desperation there in his eyes. But it didn’t matter. The statement was true. 

“Anything.” Silver repeated. “Would you spend the night in my cabin?”

For a moment James thought he must have misheard. But the lamp was still burning, the floorboards firm beneath his feet and Silver was still standing there, watching him with a strange, unreadable expression, waiting for his response.

James licked his lips. He didn’t know what to make of Silver’s request, or the strange surge of heat in the pit of his stomach at considering it. “Is that your price?”

“What if it was?” Silver asked mildly. Which didn't quite answer the question, in James’s opinion. Was he offering this bargain in exchange for the Hamiltons’ safety or not? Was he simply playing with James merely for the sport of it?

James hesitated still.

“You can have tonight to think about it.” Silver said. “And give me your answer in the morning.”

“Just like that?” James said. “For a fuck with me, you’ll give up their ransoms?” He regretted the words as soon as he said them, not wanting to draw attention back to the ransoms, but he found it nearly impossible to believe Silver would make this deal instead of securing a good sized fortune for himself.

“I’d consider it.” Silver murmured. “There are some things…” He paused, and went to the door, calling the guard. “Take him back to the hold with the other prisoners.”  He turned away. “Think about it, lieutenant.”

James doesn’t look at him as he was led away, his mind in a whirl.

If Silver was seriously offering this, he couldn’t possibly refuse. He just couldn’t.

 *  *  *

But it would have been easier if Silver had wanted it then and there. Sending him back to the hold to spend a night with the ones he loved before making the decision…

No, Silver knew already that he had made his decision.

There was only the waiting for the morning to come and they both knew it.

 *  *  *

“What did he want this time?” Thomas asked the moment James was back in the cabin with them.

James sighed. “There’s a ransom for your return.” He says quietly. “Both of you.”

Thomas exhaled and Miranda squeezed his hand. “I expected no less from my father to be honest.”  The weariness there made James want to go to him, kiss all thoughts of his father from his mind.

He let Miranda go to Thomas, leaning back against the wall instead.

“It will be all right.” Miranda murmured, giving Thomas another kiss.

Thomas nodded, and then looked back at James, searching James’s face carefully. “What else?”

“He’s considering offering a bargain.” James said slowly. As the deal was being still being considered by Silver in the first place, he hadn’t decided whether or not it was worth it to mention it to Thomas and Miranda.

“What sort of bargain?” Thomas asked sharply.

“In exchange for safe passage to Nassau, I’d spend a night in his cabin.” He looked at Miranda first, for she’d understand and he found understanding in her eyes as he expected. But then he looked to Thomas.

“Preposterous.” Thomas exclaimed. “You’ll do no such thing.”

“Thomas.” Miranda said softly. “Think of-“

 _“No.”_ Thomas cut her off. “James will do no such thing.”

“If this is the only way.” Miranda began.

“You don’t get to decide.” James said at the same time, as quietly but firmly as possible and Thomas just stared at him.

His eyes narrowed. “Safe passage for all of us?”

James looked away from that scrutinizing gaze, because his answer was not going to be satisfactory in Thomas’s eyes. But regardless of whether or not Thomas was satisfied with the bargain, he was still going to go through with it. If Silver offered it, he couldn’t afford to refuse it.

“James, _no_.”

“He’s giving me tonight to consider it.” James slumped against the wall. Silver’s ingenuity with that part of the bargain – kindness and cruelty, hand in hand together.

“Damn the man.” Thomas muttered.

_Damn him indeed._

_*  *  *_

They tried to sleep as best as they could in a huddle on the floor. James had his back against the wall, Miranda against one shoulder, leaning into his chest. Thomas had the other, resting his head on James’s neck. His chained arms between them, holding their hands.

James sighed softly in the darkness. He had thought if they could only get away from London, only make it as far as Nassau, away from Thomas’s father and the eyes of society, then the three of them could simply be together, and they’d be happy. He sighed again, watching the moon through the porthole. The lantern had burned down low in the cabin, leaving the shadows for company.

If the two of them could still get away and free, he’d do this, and he’d go back to London afterward to face whatever punishment the admiralty deemed fit, but his heart was being torn apart, utterly destroyed at the thought of being separated from Miranda and Thomas. If the authorities didn’t hang him in London, he’d get free, James vowed to himself. He’d make his way back to them in Nassau. They would be together, come what may, whatever the cost.

“You’re not sleeping.” Thomas whispered.

“I’m thinking.” James tilted his head up. “If I do this…”

“James.”

‘If I do this…” James whispered. “Then no matter what happens, I will return to you.” His eyes bore into Thomas with the burning, fervent passion that he couldn’t stomp out, couldn’t eradicate from his heart, nor did he want to do so. “I promise, Thomas. I will come to you wherever you are. All you and Miranda have to do is wait, and I will come to you. I swear it on my life. Thomas, you have to believe me.” He rested his head against Thomas’s forehead. “Believe me.”

Thomas shuddered softly, kissing his mouth. “I do…James, I do.”

They kissed slowly, each meeting of their lips a reminder of their first kiss, neither wanting it to be the last, not willing to admit the possibility of such a thing, holding each other, till the coming of the dawn.

 *  *  *

“Captain wants to see you.” Billy jerked his head at the door. “On your feet.”

James went without a look back; he couldn’t let himself look back at Thomas and Miranda. He strode forward towards his fate, back to the cabin where Silver waited for him.

Or where James had expected to find Silver waiting there. The cabin was empty in the morning light.

Billy waited in the doorway, watching him until Silver came back to the cabin.

“All right, Billy.”

James stood there, waiting until the blonde had once again left them alone. Even once the man had gone, he still waited for Silver to speak first. It had to be Silver who broached the subject, who offered it.

“Well?” Silver asked finally from his position behind the broad desk. His eyes were on the chart before him, barely even acknowledging James’s presence. “Would you accept?”

“Are you offering that bargain?” James answered bluntly.

“Yes.” Silver said, finally looking up at him.

The words to accept were there on James’s tongue, and still he hesitated. Miranda understood why he would do this; Thomas understood in theory, but was struggling to accept that. Beyond that, there was the private insinuation tugging at the back of his mind when he looked at Silver. He’d thought it was simply not recognizing the man at first, but now there was something more. Something darker, deeper, coiled within him, waiting to be drawn forth.

He looked out the open window at the sea and then finally looked back at Silver. “Then I accept. In return for safe passage to Nassau for both Thomas and Miranda, I will spend a night in your cabin.”

Silver searched his face, his own countenance expressionless. “And what about you?”

“What about me?” James repeated. He had no allusions as to his fate here; he would face it with his head held high. He wouldn’t beg or bargain for himself. He’d never intended to do that. But for those he loved, he would do whatever it took to get them to safety.

“Afterward…What do you expect to happen?” Silver had moved from behind the desk to around it, and James held his position as the man moved closer, studying him intently.

James frowned at the question. “I thought you were turning me over to the admiralty?”

“That’s what you thought?” Silver repeated. When James made no answer, he simply nodded. “Very well. We have a bargain, lieutenant. I’ll have you brought to my cabin tonight.”

James held out his hand and for the longest moment he thought Silver truly wouldn’t accept the gesture. The distance between them seemed to languish in the air and then finally Silver lifted his arm and slid his hand into James’s.

James inhaled sharply as the pirate’s hand held his; whatever it was in his soul that had refused to forget Silver over the years cried out once more simply from the touch of him – sharp and primal and hungry, shocking its way through his bones. He dropped the man’s hand abruptly and took a step back.

“You may go.” Silver said, sounding a trifle unsteady.

James took a step towards the door and then paused. “Could they go up on deck?” He hesitated. “Just for a while. It’s stuffy below.”

Silver nodded. “I’ll arrange it.”

“Thank you.” James murmured, and went to the door before he could say anything more. Right at the doorway he glanced back. Silver still stood in the same place, gazing down at his hand with a peculiar expression.  

James kept walking.

 *  *  *

“I want to speak with him.” Miranda said once they were up on deck. The wind was brisk, but felt smooth and clean upon her face. Billy had left them alone for once but stayed close enough on the deck that he was clearly still keeping watch on them. There was no sign of the pirate captain and she wanted to see him.

“Miranda.” James placed a hand on hers. “There is no need.”

“Maybe I can…” She bit her lip. “…James.”

Thomas stood at the railing, facing the open waves. He had turned his head slightly away, knowing Miranda had wanted a private moment to speak with James in case there was no opportunity later. From the way his hands clenched the railing, James knew he was  barely keeping his own emotions in check.

He turned back to Miranda, cupping her face, kissing her softly on the forehead, not caring who was watching. “I will be all right.”

Whatever humiliation and degradation Silver planned to visit upon him in exchange for their past, he was prepared to endure it for their sake.

Miranda sighed, leaning into his chest. “I couldn’t bear it if something happened to you.” She murmured, pressing a kiss to his chest. “I know you know that, James.”

Thomas’s knuckles turned white upon the railing.

“I know.” James whispered into her hair. “That’s why I’m doing it.”

She smiled through her tear-filled eyes. James simply leaned down and kissed her mouth.

When he looked up, he finally saw Silver up on the quarterdeck for the first time, watching them.

His embrace around Miranda tightened protectively, but she tensed and followed his gaze. She looked up at Silver and Silver nodded to her courteously before turning his back to talk to one of the other men.

James glanced between them, slightly puzzled at the exchange. “What is it?”

“I have a theory this is more personal than any of you want to believe.” Miranda murmured, her eyes still on Silver above them.

And James wasn’t certain whether she was speaking of Thomas & him or him and Silver or all three.

 *  *  *

After they were returned to the hold, the afternoon both stretched on and somehow passed quickly in the blink of an eye. James sat on the bunk, waiting. Miranda sat on the other, facing him, watching him. Thomas paced, his strides taking him back and forth across the small cabin until James wanted to drag him down onto the bunk with him and hold him still.

“Thomas.” Miranda began.

"James." Thomas said at the same time.

James laughed slightly. 

"Come here." Thomas said suddenly. He reached for James, pulling him closer. 

"What're you doing?" James whispered as Thomas's hands slid over him.

"I want you to smell like me." Thomas murmured, kissing his neck. His words provoked an instanteous result in James who reached for him in return. 

Miranda stood by the door, half guarding it and then Thomas reached for her as well. 

James closed his eyes as he kissed them, their hands moving, fervent, heated caresses as though they were caught in a dream. He heard Miranda's soft panting breaths as Thomas brought her off, and the moan Thomas made as James touched him. The sounds he made of his own when their hands were upon him. It was one dream he wanted to last forever, though he already knew the end was upon them.

*  *  *

In barely any time at all they were tidying themselves and there was little evidence of anything that had taken place moments before.

Thomas reached out to comb his fingers through James's hair. "I love you, you know that."

"I do." James said, and then, "Thomas, I'll be back."

And then the key turned in the lock and they all froze.

One last touch of his hand to Miranda's and Thomas's, one last press of his lips to theirs, not caring that Billy stood in the doorway. 

*  *  *

They led him out and up on deck, across the deck to the captain’s cabin. The sun had set over the dark waves and James exhaled slowly as he crossed the threshold.

 “Billy, take those off.” Silver nodded at his chains.

“You sure?” Billy asked doubtfully with a wary look at James.

Silver sighed. “Yes, I’m quite sure.”

James held out his wrists and the cuffs were removed. He felt both slightly lightened and more imprisoned than ever before. Now he was only being held by his honor. And the thought that if he did anything Thomas and Miranda would pay for it, bound him even tighter. He had to go through with this for their sakes. His jaw set tight, he stood there at attention, waiting for the first move.

Silver took the green sea glass decanter from behind the desk and set two glasses beside it. “Brandy?”

James went closer, standing beside the desk, watching silently as Silver poured them each a large brandy. There was oil on the desk as well. James ignored it for now.

Silver nudged a glass over to him.

 James took it slowly, studying the liquid before looking at Silver. “What are we drinking to?”

Silver smiled. “To unexpected reunions.” He raised his glass.

Slowly James raised his in response. “To unexpected reunions.” He took a sip.

Silver did the same, watching James with thoughtful eyes. “There’s water.” He indicated the basin. “If you want to wash the rest of the blood off you.”

James had been aware of himself still being half covered in dried blood, but he hadn’t really expected a pirate of all people to care. Still it would feel good to wash his face.

He carried his brandy with him, setting it down beside the basin. He took the pitcher, pouring the water in the basin. James washed his face thoroughly, watching the blood trickle down into the water, silently aware of Silver’s presence at all times. He took the time to run his fingers through his hair, before combing it neatly back into a tidy queue once more. When he finally turned around, Silver had moved to sit on the edge of his desk, watching him.

James paused and then reached for the brandy, hoping it would brace him.

“How long have you been the Hamiltons’ lover?” Silver asked idly, his gaze dropping to the brandy glass he held.

“I’m not talking about that with you.” James stated. He was willing to go to bed with Silver, to let Silver fuck him, but that matter was private. They were his whole world and he wouldn’t let it be made a mockery for some filthy pirate.

Silver’s head came up immediately, his jaw tight. “May I remind you, you agreed to a night in my cabin. What happens in here, whatever I ask, you will answer and obey.” He sneered at James. “Or have you been too long out of the navy already that you don’t remember how to follow orders, lieutenant?”

“Stop calling me that.” James half-started towards him furiously.

Silver just stared back at him, his hand gripping his brandy glass so tightly James wondered if it would shatter under his grasp.

“Three years.” James muttered in surrender, glaring at him.

“Who fucked you first?” Silver raised his brandy to his lips.

“Miranda.” James said, gulping his brandy.

“Do the three of you-“

“Yes.” James turned away, but color had already stained his cheeks. The three of them do fuck, as was evident by this afternoon. He wasn’t ashamed of that so he forced himself to look back at Silver. Instead of mockery, there was an unexpected heat in Silver’s eyes.

James stared at him, still wondering at how they'd managed to cross Silver's path. He’d thought they were lucky. They had been so lucky to get passage aboard a ship and to get away, and now here they were. So close to freedom he could taste it. All that stood between them and that freedom was Silver.

 *  *  *

Thomas had finally stilled, sinking down to stare at the wall.

“It’s not your fault.” Miranda murmured. She knew what he was thinking of and she knew it was wrong. Deep down Thomas knew it as well, but she knew it would do him good to be reminded.

“I’m the one who admitted to him what we were.”  Thomas kept his faced averted.

“He already knew.” Miranda’s voice was patient. “Somehow he had guessed, something of the nature.” She reached over and clasped his face in her hands. “Thomas. It was not your fault.”

John Silver was an incredibly intriguing, persuasive man. She could see why James had fallen under his spell all those years ago. And that was what had happened, she knew, even though James himself didn’t realize it yet.

Thomas leaned into her hands, sighing. “What if I’ve done James more harm than good, what if he can never forgive me?”

“Nothing happening to James in that cabin is your fault. He’s the one who accepted the captain’s bargain and Silver is the one who offered it to begin with.” Her fingers pressed into Thomas’s jaw, making him focus on her words. “He would have offered that bargain to James regardless of his knowledge of us. It made it easier, yes, but he already knew James.” She pressed her lips to Thomas’s forehead. “James will be all right, my love. He is a very resilient man.”

Thomas huffed a small sigh of a laugh. “I hope you are right.”

 "You know I am." Miranda whispered, kissing his hair.

*  *  *

Silver sat at his desk, brooding over his brandy. “When did the three of you start?”

James stood even more stiffly. “I told you. Three years ago.” It seemed impossible that it had been so long and yet here they were now. It felt like a lifetime. And yet his life before them had been empty, devoid of joy and laughter and love.

“Three years.” Silver mused, his fingers tapping faintly on the arm of his chair. “And previously in the navy, did you enjoy any such unconventional relationships such as this one?”

James gazed at him flatly. “No.”

“Never?” Silver eyed him. “I don’t feel much inclined to believe you, lieutenant.”

“I was never in a relationship like this, because there’s no other relationship like this.” James said hotly. “I fucked other men while in the navy, yes.”

Silver smiled. “Take off your coat.”

Slowly James did as he was told. Even though he was still fully clothed, simply being in his short sleeves around Silver was uncomfortable. Yet he had seen the man in less back in the day. Now that he had remembered Silver, the memories kept flooding back like the tide returning relentlessly. How Silver looked up in the rigging, how carefree. How much he had stood out amongst the rest of the crew. Tan and vibrant and handsome.

He held on to his coat for a moment, like a man clutching a life raft and then looked up at Silver before dropping it to the floor.

Silver sat back and surveyed him. His gaze swept over James like the sea, strong and hungry, claiming him with the force of it. James felt his legs tremble in spite of his stance upon the floor.

He stood his ground, holding firm, waiting for the next question.

“Boots.” Silver said lazily.

James sighed and tugged his boots off, first one and then the other. It felt absurd at this point, standing there in his stockings before Silver.

“When did you decide to leave London?” Silver asked. “Who suggested it? Was it Thomas?”

“Actually,” James hesitated, “It was my idea.”

Silver looked surprised at that. “Really?”

“I wanted…to be with them all the time.”  James was still surprised by that himself. He couldn’t bear to be apart from them. Every voyage had felt like an eternity, every time he returned home, it was a new beginning. “In London that was impossible.”

“Take off your waistcoat.”

James obeyed, discarding it with his coat.

Silver nodded to himself. “How did it feel the first time you touched Thomas’s cock?”

James’s lips pressed together firmly. His legs stood straight upon the floor. He could weather this.

But oh, the memory of that, Thomas baring himself, letting him in. James wanting with his whole being, his body yearning for Thomas.

“Like it was heaven.” He murmured.

Silver smiled wryly. “I’m sure.” He inclined his head. “Breeches next, I think.”

“What of it?” James demanded, his fingers moving almost angrily as they tugged at his breeches, slipping them down. He knew what Silver meant, what he was getting at. “I felt no shame being with Thomas.” He kicked them aside, standing there in his stockings and shirt.

Silver took a sip of his brandy. “I never said that you should.” His thumb stroked the rim of his brandy glass.

James closed his eyes as the words slipped through the evening air like smoke. All those years. Now he knew what Silver had clung to.

“I hated myself for saying I’d report you.” He said at last, opening his eyes again. “And I hated you for getting caught.”

Silver turned his head and looked at him, silent and watchful as the night.

“It was hypocritical of me.” James wanted to look away, but he couldn’t. “How was I supposed to do that when I…” He caught his lip between his teeth. “But you were careless! You got _caught_.”

“And you never did.” Silver’s eyes rested on him.

“Never.” James said. There had been times it had been close, but he was careful. He had always been careful.

“Good little lieutenant.” Silver murmured. He drained his brandy and reached for the decanter again. “Shirt and stockings.”

As James pulled his shirt up over his shoulders, he heard the words softly spoken, “So you did remember me then, in the end.”

 “Yes.” James stood there, clad in his smallclothes, a heightened sense of awareness coloring everything around him.

Silver tilted his head and looked at him. “Tell me then lieutenant, what did you think when you first found me on my knees sucking Martin Temple’s cock?”

The room shifted; this was dangerous territory. It was all dangerous territory.

“I thought you were reckless and careless to take such chances.” James said flatly. He stripped off his stockings and tossed them with his other clothing. It was the truth; he wouldn’t lie to try to curry favor with Silver when there was little point in it anyway. Martin. He had forgotten the other sailor's name. He hadn't mattered somehow, only Silver. 

Silver looked amused. “You wouldn’t have taken that chance then?”

“Not aboard the ship.” James shook his head “Do you know what would have been the consequences if anyone else had found you? If I _had_ turned you in?” His dreams used to be filled with those dangers.

“Why do you think I jumped ship?” Silver’s mouth curled wryly.

“I told you if I caught you again.” James looked slightly discomfited. “I wasn’t going to simply based on that incident alone.”

“Why not?" Silver asked. “It would have been enough for most men. Besides it would have turned suspicion away from yourself. Not that you needed to do that.” He looked a trifle bitter.

 James nearly blushed. “Did you truly jump ship because you thought I was going to turn you in?”

“I didn’t care for the odds.” Silver shrugged. “And I had every intention of sucking more cock.” His eyes gleamed as they looked at James.

Heat overwhelmed James and he had a feeling Silver’s words were personal somehow, though he could not have said why or how.

Abruptly Silver changed the subject. “Who do you love more, Miranda or Thomas?”

“It’s not like that.” James protested. “It’s not that simple. They’re separate people.” His passion caught up with him and he flushed hotly, at the thought of trying to explain the workings of his heart, to no other than John Silver.

“How is it then?” Silver asked, sounding curious.

James paused and then turned to the window. “It’s possible to love more than one person at a time.” He said haltingly. “I met Miranda first at a naval banquet. She was enchanting, and she invited me to take dinner at home with her and her husband.” That afternoon had changed his life. “And then when I met Thomas, I simply, fell in love.” He wasn’t sure he had ever even said those words aloud before, to anyone other than Thomas or Miranda.

“Thomas and I…” his voice sounded distant. “We were meant for each other. I never expected…” He trailed off, aware of the sudden silence in the cabin, half embarrassed to look at Silver.

“You’re a very lucky man, lieutenant, to be so well loved.” There was a melancholy note to Silver’s voice that brought James’s gaze up to study him.

Silver’s eyes rested on his glass once more. Lost in thought, he seemed miles away, his features fell softer in silence without his words and charm to mask them.

“And you?” James finally asked. “No one standing at the side of the pirate captain?”

Silver’s lips parted faintly and then he simply shook his head. “No. There is no one.”

But he didn’t meet James’s gaze even then and somehow, without knowing why or how James had a certainty that he was lying.

Silver shook himself a little. “And here we are.” His gaze swept over James for his bare feet to his thighs, the mere slip of linen around his loins, with nothing covering his broad chest and shoulders, his arms and thighs exposed for Silver's scrutiny.

James again had the urge to cover to himself as though Silver had taken in every aspect of him down to his last freckle.

The longer Silver sat there, merely gazing at him, the worse it was. He ground his teeth. The entire situation was intolerable. Being kept here, by Silver no less, stripped inch by inch, forced to lay his secrets bare before him.

What was worse though was the way Silver’s words were affecting him. The slow, almost pervasively relentless way he had spun his questions. The way they forced, nay _demanded,_ that James remember those memories in vivid detail, the remembrance of those beloved memories, plus the frustrating, undeniable appeal of Silver.

James would have preferred to deny it, but in the private recesses of his own mind, he couldn’t. There he was forced to face the truth of the attraction that he had felt once before, and now again. He stood before Silver now in nothing but his underclothes, and the barest faintest stirrings of arousal. He willed his body to remain unaffected but feared it would betray him nonetheless. Once Silver ordered the final bit of cloth removed, what then?

“What are you waiting for, lieutenant?   Silver’s voice floated to him almost lazily. “Take them off.”

James swallowed. He wanted to protest, to keep this from happening somehow, but there was nothing to he could do to stop it. James’s fingers touched the hem of his underclothes, hesitated and he met Silver’s gaze, seeing the challenge in his eyes and then simply drew them down and pulled them off, depositing them with his breeches.

Silver sat back in his chair, simply gazing at him. “Ever been fucked by a captain before?” He inquired, almost casually.

“No.” James said, ignoing the tingling sensation in his thighs at Silver's words.

“What? Never had a captain call you to their cabin to reprimand you?” Silver’s voice held a teasing note that made James’s skin grow hot. “Not even when you were a cabin boy.”

“No.” James repeated.

“Ever a captain you wanted?”

That gave James pause. “Yes.” He answered at last. When he was fourteen he had been quite enamored of his captain at the time. A handsome bold man who had a merry laugh that made James’s toes curl in his boots, wishing he were the one to bring laughter to his lips and never daring to try.

“Tell me.” Silver prompted.

“His name was Alexander Lewis and he was…enthralling.” James murmured. “Tall and handsome and meant for more than the navy, but there he was.”

“Meant for more than the navy.” Silver laughed. “You sound almost as though you disapprove of the fine maritime tradition of going to sea.”

“I deserted.” James said evenly. “I turned my back on them and if I’m caught or sent back to London I will hang.” This was the fate Silver would give him if he sent him back to London. But life in Nassau without Thomas and Miranda would be empty.

“So you did jump ship.” Silver’s smile was small, a private thing between them even here in a room with only them.

James nearly chuckled. “Yes. I did.”

“And you did it for love.” Silver murmured.

“Yes.”  James said, half expecting his words to turn mocking.

Instead Silver sounded almost curiously defeated by uttering the statement aloud.

“Do you think you’ll ever regret it?” He asked next.

“What?”

“In the days to come will you ever look back at your career that was so bright and so promising and regret it?”

James considered. “I might regret not seeing what I could make of myself, proving myself. I may miss the sea and the feel of a deck under my feet, but as for truly regretting it, no. There is no room in regret in my heart at that.”

“And this?” Silver was caught by the words, his phrasing of them. “You have other regrets then?”

“Every man has regrets.” James said simply.

It seemed an eternity passed before him then as they gazed at each other. As though Silver would sit there forever, simply looking at him, looking and not touching. His hands remaining safely on his brandy, and not on James.

At last James grew restless and he reached for his own brandy. He downed the rest of it and set the glass down on the desk.

“Well?” He said. “Shall we get on with it then?”

Silver stirred then, as though remembering what the purpose of this had been.

“Are you so eager, lieutenant?” He inquired, reaching for the decanter. “Has it been a while since you had your lover’s cock?”

There was nothing to hide behind, nothing to save his blushes. James did his best to remain silent, but the look in Silver’s eyes deserved a response regardless.

“Even if it had been a while.”(Which it hadn’t, even before this afternoon, there had been the other night just before the attack actually, in their cramped little bunk, Thomas holding his hand over James’s mouth as they moved together, watching each other’s eyes in the dark.) “That would hardly make me eager for yours.” Surely that would provoke the reaction he kept expecting from Silver. Instead Silver smiled as he filled his glass once more, and James’s as well.

“No, I expect nothing would make you eager for it.” He traced his thumb along the rim of his glass speculatively.

“Well?” James said again. Why wasn’t the man getting to it already? The sooner he did, the sooner it would be over then.

Silver raised his glass to his lips. “Place your hands on the desk and bend over.”

James moved forward automatically, aware of Silver’s gaze on him as he moved closer. The utter vulnerability of his nude body in the cabin light, how he must look to Silver. He placed his palms flat on the desk and bent a little, still gazing at Silver.

And still Silver simply watched him. “What will you tell them when they ask?” He inquired next.

“Nothing.” James said.

“Sparing them the details?”

“They have no need to know what happened here.” James felt Silver moving closer behind him. His body tensed in readiness, waiting for that inevitable touch and still it didn’t come.

‘Sometimes it’s better to know than to imagine.” Silver said softly.

“Would you want to know how precisely your lover had whored himself to save you?” James asked, his words as brittle as newly formed ice. “How he had spread his legs and offered himself to save you?”

“If I loved him, it wouldn’t matter.” Silver said. “If I had a lover…”

“You say that.” James scoffed. “But people are jealous beings.”

Silver moved so that he was barely in the corner of James’s vision, and stopped, struck by this statement. “Are you saying you think Thomas won’t forgive you?” Silver looked almost perplexed at the notion, as though that outcome had never even occurred to him.

James’s hands half curled into fists against the desk; he was aware of Silver watching the movement avidly. “I’m saying, it’s one thing to know something happened, but another to learn the specific hows and whys of it.” His gaze passed over Silver’s body so close and yet so far, and danced away again. “He wouldn’t do it intentionally, perhaps, but it would eat at him a little.” He knew how it would be. Thomas would wonder where Silver’s hands had been, what sounds James had made, whether he had enjoyed it at all.

And while the answer was a resounding no, when he told Thomas in this future conversation, all the while James knew it to be false. His own traitorous body had already shown that.

“You don’t give him enough credit.” Silver murmured.

“You’ve spoken to the man once.” James sneered. “You don’t know Thomas at all.”

“No.” Silver said. “But I know you and the sort of man you would meet and fall in love with in an afternoon and I think Thomas would forgive you anything.”

That shook James into silence.

Silver’s eyes dropped between his legs, finally acknowledging James’s arousal.

“Tell me of the first time you touched yourself, thinking of Thomas.”

James closed his eyes, his fists grinding against the desk in agony. “Please.”

“You felt guilty, didn’t you?” Silver whispered. “Thinking he would be disgusted by your desire.”

It was true.

James wet his dry lips. “Yes.” His cock ached at the memory of it, how much he had longed for Thomas, and how he had thought he would never dare…

“Touch yourself.”

For a moment James thought he had imagined the soft command. He blinked, focusing on Silver who was still close, watching him.

“I thought you were going to fuck me.” James rasped.

“I don’t need you hard to fuck you.” Silver’s gaze wandered down his length, throbbing between his thighs. “Touch yourself and tell me.”

James hesitated only half a second longer. Slowly he moved his hand between his legs, remembering as he did, that first time.

“He was so handsome.” The words crept forth from his tongue, from his memories into the night. He had had no need to seek out these memories to sustain himself over the last few years for Thomas had been there, at his side, in bed with him, hands and limbs, kisses and touches shared and multiplied a hundred times over, but the memory, oh that memory of that first time that James had admitted to himself how much he longed for Thomas had been frenzied in its lust.

“I thought it would be enough to simply get to know him, to hear his thoughts and listen to him speak,” his hand moved slowly, stroking himself, as he spoke. “But when I returned home that evening, and was alone in my room, I couldn’t stop thinking of him, of wanting him."

The callouses on his hands caught at the tenderly aroused flesh of himself and James winced slightly.

“Spit on your hand.” Silver’s voice slipped through the memory, “Unless you’d prefer oil.” He nodded to the oil sitting on the desk.

James glared at him. Oil would make it easy, too easy. But he knew that when the time came, he would want Silver to use oil, to ease the fucking and not leave lasting damage. His head drooped between his shoulders as he thought of it, and he pretended the gesture was only to spit in his hand before continuing.

“How long did it take you to come, thinking of him?”

“Not long. It was embarrassingly quick really.” James murmured. He’d thought of Thomas’s smile and his shoulders, and the clasp of his hand, and he had spilled so easily across his sheets.

Now, the memory was adding to the friction, but there was also Silver hovering at the peripheral of his desire, slipping in the cracks of it, his mouth, the way the sheen had clung to his lips when James had caught him sucking cock and Silver had stood there, listening to James tell him off, before he finally, deliberately wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

James groaned and lowered his head, closing his eyes as he worked his cock. Thoughts and memories, arousal and frustration mingled all together. His hips jutted forward, cock thrusting hungrily between his fingers, and he came with a strained gasp.

James flattened his hands on the desk, gazing down at his spend, watching it drip down the polished wood, before he looked up and met Silver’s eyes.

“Well?” James’s voice was guttural. “Are you going to fuck me or not?”

“You’d truly do this for them.” Silver’s eyes burned into him like embers. “Whore yourself to me for them?"

"Yes." How many times did he have to say it? His whole body was ready for this challenge, to meet Silver and then move forward past this night. He would not memorize the lines of Silver's face as they touched, nor would he reach for his hands and pull him close.

Still his cock twitched at the thought of Silver bending over him, his hands on James’s body, his breath on James’s neck. James straightened up, in an effort to regain control.

"You love them that much?" Silver stared at him, raking James’s face for something, some sign, that only he knew the meaning of.

James swallowed tightly. “Yes.” It hurt to admit it; it hurt to keep the truth in. There was no lack of pain here, whatever he did. “I gave you my word, and I intend to honor it.” He stood there before Silver unashamed and unbroken, waiting for the next command to fall from his lips.

What would it be? To kneel before him? To spread himself upon the bed, perhaps. Or to stay bent over the desk like an offering? The longer he stood there without Silver speaking, the tenser he grew. What was Silver waiting for?

“So you did.” Silver murmured at last. He walked back around the desk, letting the distance widen between their bodies as he went for the brandy. “And now I give you mine. Put your clothes back on, lieutenant, and go back to the hold and your precious companions.”

He had to have imagined the words. Or perhaps, somehow, it was a trap.

“What?” The word burst out of James like a storm, startling both him and Silver. Silver tensed as James shook his head, trying to understand. “What do you mean by that?”

“Just what I said.” Silver said moodily. “I have no need of you tonight.”

“We struck a bargain.” James argued. “I am not backing down, and I refuse to leave this cabin without seeing it through.” He couldn’t. Not while there was a chance he could secure Thomas and Miranda’s freedom.

“You will return to the hold or I will have you escorted there.” Silver retorted.

“But I said I would.” James said desperately. He leaned on the desk, gazing at Silver. “You gave me that bargain.”

“And I intend to keep it.” Silver said curtly. “You and your _cousins_ ,” the word was mere amusement on his lips. “Will be delivered safely ashore when we arrive on Nassau’s welcoming shores.”

“I don’t understand.” James halted. “Why did you…” _Why did you put me through all of that, why did you demand that of me and now…Why?_ He couldn’t voice any of that.

“I changed my mind.” Silver said carelessly. He reached for the brandy once again.

Before he knew what he was doing, James reached over and placed a hand on his wrist. Silver froze, staring down at it. Finally he tore his gaze from James’s grasp and lifted it to meet his eyes.

“You’re telling me,” James said slowly, “you’ll let me leave this cabin without being fucked by you, and you’ll still deliver my companions and I safely to Nassau? All three of us?”

“Yes.” Silver said after a moment. “That’s what I’m telling you.”

James gripped his wrist tighter. “Why?” He didn’t trust this, didn’t know what to make of it.

“Let go of me.” Silver tried to pull himself free, but James held fast.

“Why?” He demanded again.

“I don’t have to explain myself to the likes of you.” Silver sneered, wrenching his wrist free.

James moved around his desk and had Silver pressed back against the chair in a flash.

“I asked you a simple question and I want the answer.”

Silver’s breath came fast, hot upon his hands, but James merely tightened his grip on his coat. “Tell me.”

“Look to your valuables, lieutenant.” Silver breathed. “If you don’t release me at once, you won’t be much good to either of your lovers.”

James froze as he felt the cool prick of steel at his groin. He looked down to see the knife Silver had drawn, resting against his vulnerable flesh.

“Please.” James said. And there was a flash of surprise in Silver’s eyes. “I need to know.”              

“Take your hands off me.” Silver said, pressing a little tighter.

James winced and drew back, raising his hands.

Silver sat back, looking at him. Then he set the dagger aside and once again reached for the brandy. “You may go.”

James reached for his clothes and turned his back. He dressed in silence and then he left the cabin.

 *  *  *

The night was still and quiet. James stood on the desk, breathing in the sweetness of the air. The abruptness of Silver’s decision had left him bewildered. He couldn’t trust his word now, could he? Could he?

“Come on.” Billy nudged him towards the hold. For a moment James feared he’d put him back in the storeroom by himself, but instead Billy returned him to the cabin.

The moment he stepped inside, Miranda threw her arms around him and then as the door closed, Thomas clasped him from the other side. For the briefest moment James felt the desire to pull away, to be alone.

“Are you all right?” Miranda asked quietly, feeling the rigidness of his body between them. “Would you rather we didn’t touch you?”

At her understanding James squeezed her tighter. “I’m all right.” He answered her. “I’m…well.” He had no other words than that.

“What did he do?” Thomas asked.

“Thomas.” Miranda shook her head.

“He didn’t...touch me.” James said. “Oh, he asked me questions and probed into my past, but he didn’t touch me.” Except for that brief dagger held to James’s balls, Silver hadn’t touched him at all. He still didn’t know what to make of that. The arousal sparked by his words, and the command to bring himself off, neither of those had been at Silver’s hand, exactly. 

Thomas looked at him perplexed. “Why?”

“I think his intention was to humiliate me.” James said, shrugging his shoulders. That at least, he understood.

“But he’s still giving us safe passage to Nassau.” Miranda’s brow furrowed in confusion.

“Yes.”

“Why?”

He shook his head. “I don’t know.”

 _Even pirates wanted something other than gold_ , James thought and he couldn’t help wondering whether he had reached the last page of the mystery that was John Silver or if it was just beginning.

 *  *  *

They settled back to bed, but he couldn’t sleep as he lay on the pallet on the floor, having insisted that Thomas and Miranda take the bunks. There was room in the bunks for two, James knew that, but he wanted to lie there alone and think.

He still didn’t know what to make of any of it. Not of the way Silver had spoken to him, or gazed at him, or not touched him. Not even once.

“James.”

He turned his head to see Miranda slip out of her bunk and come over to him. James reached for her, drawing her down on the pallet beside him, letting him breathe in the scent of her hair.

“You don’t have to tell us, if you don’t wish to.” Miranda murmured. “But we will listen if you do.”

“I know that.” James stroked her hand absently. “It was…like a door from the past had been opened. A door I thought had been closed and locked forever.”

“Sometimes doors open for a reason.” Miranda kissed his shoulder.

“Sometimes they’re forced open.” James said humorlessly. But sometimes…once they were open, you had the choice of whether you let them remain open or shut them once again.

 *  *  *

The next day they were allowed to go up on deck. Miranda walked the lenght of the deck, stretching her legs, while they stood and watched the waves.

Thomas rested his hand over James's. "I know you think I don't want to know."

"It's not that." James said. 

"Oh?" Thomas tilted his head, glancing at him before looking away over the water. "Tell me then."

_Tell me._

James swallowed, hearing Silver's voice again. "I know you want to know, I wanted to protect you from that knowledge all the same."

"James." Thomas squeezed his hand and then slipped his hand up to cup his cheek. "You don't need to protect me."

"But I want to." James let himself lean into that touch briefly, before he pulled away at the sound of Billy's footsteps behind them.

“He wants to talk to you.” The annoyance in Billy’s voice was evident. “You do anything to him and I’ll break your neck myself.”

James just nodded. He gave a Miranda’s hand a quick reassuring squeeze and a quick brush of his hand to Thomas’s arm before following Billy.

*  *  * 

He understood Billy’s warning, and concern, once he stood inside the cabin. It stunk like rum and stale sweat. Silver lay sprawled across the bed, hair tangled, shirt loose and flowing free from his breeches.

At the sound of the door closing, he stirred.

“I told you to bring him.” Silver shoved himself up and stopped at the sight of him. “Oh, you came.”

“I did.” James waited, half curious what a drunk Silver had to say, and half afraid of it all the same.

“You asked why.” Silver mumbled, rubbing at his eyes with the heels of his hands.

“I did.”

Silver’s voice was low in the dark. “You held my life in your hands that day.” He gazed steadily at James, for all the drink he had obviously imbibed. “And I couldn’t bear to see if you would turn me in or not. I couldn’t know what you would do.”

The quietness of his words pierced James through the chest.

“I wasn’t going to turn you in.” He said and then bit his lip. He had told himself that a hundred times, and every time, he wondered if it was always true. Would there have been a moment where he would have let Silver be taken? Would he have done that? Could he say it for sure?

“Really?” Silver laughed, his head lolling back against the wall. “There was never a moment, one moment, where you might have turned me in and have me hung to cover your own neck?”

James just looked at him as he shoved himself up and made his way awkwardly over to the desk to grab the bottle of rum standing there. He was a disheveled mess, but there was no denying the appeal of his form under those rum-stained clothes. What it would have felt like to have that lithe chest pressed against his bare back…

“It's my turn. Why?” Silver whispered. “Why didn’t you turn me in all those years ago?”

“I told you.”

Silver leaned against the desk, watching him, hands clasped around the neck of the rum bottle. “You held my life in your hands and you let me go, but not before reminding me of just how much power you held. I stood there with the taste of him on my tongue as you reminded me how we could be hung for this. As though I didn’t recognize that. As though I didn’t fucking know that when I sucked his fucking cock.” His eyes glittered, the resentment heated within him. “I suppose I wanted to repay you a little for that humiliation, for the anger I felt at owing you a debt.”

“You didn’t owe me anything.” James said. He had never thought of it like that. Not once had he thought Silver owed him a debt for letting him go that night.

“I don’t anymore.” Silver said, raising the rum to his lips.

“Why him?” The question burst from James’s lips. He couldn’t stop it. Ever since he remembered that night on the ship, finding Silver knelt between the man’s thighs, his head moving hungrily at his cock, like he couldn’t get enough of it, James had wanted to know the answer to that question. Why him? Why that nameless, ( _Martin_ , his mind prompted unhelpefully, Silver had remembered his name after all) unimportant sailor? He had been no one, nothing important. But Silver? He was hard not to think of.

Silver laughed. “You seriously don’t know?” Like it was the simplest question in the world and James should already have worked out the answer long before this. "He wasn't the one I wanted to kiss on that ship."

James froze.

“Because I couldn’t have you.” Silver murmured. “I wanted to suck your cock so badly, I dreamed of it at night. And your lips.” His gaze moved to James’s mouth, fevered in its longing. “I was starved for the taste of them.”

And then he sat back on the edge of the desk, shoulders slumping with the weight of this confession. “You should go.”

“What?” James asked, still lost in the sound of Silver’s words, his revelationof desire.

“Get out.” Silver closed his eyes. “Go back to your lovers.” He sneered the word even as he sank down into his chair once more, raising the bottle to his lips.

_If you had kissed me that night._

James straightened up, shaking the thought from his head. But it was there and he couldn’t lose it. If Silver _had_ kissed him, he wasn’t sure what he would have done. Now, now he had no idea. But at the time? Who knew? Deep within his heart’s blood he imagined himself kissing Silver and being lost in him, and where they would be now?

James closed his eyes, his fingers going to press at the bridge of his nose. “I thought.” He’d thought he’d put this behind him and move forward. He opened them, gazing at the man across the room from him, wondering if there was anything he could actually do or say here.

“You thought when you made the bargain you’d be offering your body and you did, just not in the method you imagined.” Silver shrugged his shoulders as if to say, ‘so it goes.’

“You had no right.” James muttered but it held none of the former anger and vehemence he had previously held towards Silver. Speaking with Miranda afterwards had tempered the fire. It had not vanquished it.

Silver simply shrugged his shoulders again. He looked almost absurdly younger somehow. James had to resist shaking him. “I told you. I wanted to humiliate you, as you had humiliated me.”

“I let you go.” James hissed. “Any humiliation visited upon you was unintentional.”

“Yes, you let us go. After you told us in explicit detail what would happen to us should we ever be so careless enough as to get caught again.” Silver’s lip curled. “The very nature of that explanation of that told me what I had previously imagined. You were no stranger to sodomy yourself.”

James reached for him, dragging Silver upright from his chair. His curls fell over his face and James propped him upright, holding him with one hand while he yanked a handful of curls with the other.

Silver groaned at the contact of his hand, and the sound rushed straight to James’s groin. Heat washed over him, flooding him with all the resentment, anger and frustration within him. Yes, the humiliation was there, mixed with arousal, strong and yearning, the frustration rising still higher. He stared at Silver, at his mouth, that pair of expressively daring, captivating lips that were so damning and so persuasive.

He had dreamed of those lips and there they were. Silver licked his lips, again as though he knew how his and James’s thoughts were aligned.

James tightened his grasp on Silver’s hair and then simply as though an invisible, urgent insistent force beyond his own compelled him, he leaned down and placed his mouth on Silver’s, capturing those lips in a deep, impassioned kiss.

Silver tasted of rum and salt, the taste of him awakening and stirring the dark current running through James’s veins, drawing him closer. Silver’s lips opened to him, his tongue sliding hot and yearning, against James’s. There was another of those groans, deeper and more longing in its utterance. James felt it down to his very soul.

It was not the only thing he felt.

Silver jerked in his grasp, pulling away from James with sudden strength. His eyes, sobered and bitter, glared at James. “Get out.”

James hesitated, uncertain as to where this would leave everything between them, of what remained of their past on the ship. His fingers still clung to Silver’s curls.

“Get out.” Silver’s voice had sunk to a whisper, a hollow echo of a thing.

James turned and left the cabin as quickly as possible.

Outside the air was blue and wide. It was still daylight, somehow. He paused by the railing, gripping it.

What had possessed him to kiss Silver? Revenge? The need to regain the upper hand between them? Or something else entirely? That wordless desire that had always been there, hidden in the shadows between the years that had passed and washed away into the open sea between that one lantern-lit night and the confessions of a drunken morning?

He couldn’t forget the taste of Silver’s tongue, the firm pressure of his lips, coupled with the soft wanting. Silver had kissed him back. He wanted him, had wanted him all this time. Miranda was right. James couldn’t believe it.

He stood there at the railing, his hands clenching tightly around it. After all those years… he could close his eyes and see Silver as he was back then, Silver on his knees, his cheeks hollowed around that damn sailor’s cock.

Jealousy, fresh and hot hit him. After those years of never admitting that he had wanted Silver and now, after James had agreed to his devil’s bargain, had offered himself up, only for Silver to reject him. And then, again, fury burning through him, Silver had had the audacity to confess those memories and his longing and James had surrendered and fucking kissed him.

James ground his teeth, fingers digging even harder into the railing. What was he supposed to do with this confession now? What could he possibly do with it?

There was no undoing the past. There was only the way ahead of them, and he bowed his head as he gazed out at the waves, unseeing the wide blue below.

 *  *  * 

James took a moment to compose himself before returning to the cabin in the hold. This was one visit to the captain’s cabin that he had no desire to recount to Thomas or Miranda. This one would remain private, between him and Silver. For whatever reason, he had done it, it hadn’t been to claim he had bested the man or forced himself upon the pirate captain. No it was more intimate and complex than that, a thing that couldn’t be explained by mere words. So he left it there upon the waves and returned to the cabin below, his lips still tasting of Silver, still hungry for more.

 *  *  *

The next few days of their voyage passed. Silver kept to his cabin, whereas he had given orders to his quartermaster that the three of them were to be allowed on deck as they pleased. They were locked in their cabin at night, which James understood, but other than that, there were no restraints at all. James’s shackles hadn’t been returned.

He spent the hours walking the deck of the ship, and gazing out at the waves, always returning to check on Thomas and Miranda whenever they were apart as though seeking to reassure himself that they were still safe.

From time to time his gaze strayed to the door of the captain’s cabin, but Silver did not emerge.

 *  *  * 

One afternoon when James had told Thomas they had to be nearing Nassau soon, Thomas had wanted to go for a walk up on deck. Miranda stayed below, enjoying a moment of quiet privacy, even from those she loved.

There was a brusque knock at their door and she looked up.

Billy stood there in the doorway with one of their chests. He lowered it to the floor while Miranda looked at it in surprise. While she had known their belongings had probably been claimed by the pirates, she hadn’t thought they would see them again. Their clothes, their books, all of their personal things were here.

She looked up at Billy with a question on her lips.

“Compliments of the captain.” Billy said gruffly.

“Extend my gratitude to the captain and also ask, if I could have a word with him in private at some point?”

Billy paused and then nodded. “I’ll pass along the message.”

Miranda opened the chest and went through the items carefully stowed within, searching for the one she had thought of when she had seen Silver's cabin.

 *  *  *

Silver looked up from his desk as she entered and rose to his feet. “Mrs. Barlow.”

“Captain Silver.” Miranda smiled at him.

“How may I assist you?”

“I wanted to thank you for returning our belongings.”

“Billy already relayed your sentiments, but you’re welcome all the same.” 

“I understand we’re nearly to Nassau.”

Silver nodded almost absently. “The day after tomorrow most likely.” He smiled politely at her. “I’m sure you’ll be glad to be on dry land once more.”

Miranda smiled in return. “I confess, I didn’t find the voyage as pleasant as I hoped.”

The corners of Silver’s mouth twitched faintly. “My apologies.”

Miranda laughed slightly.  “Regardless, I wanted to extend my thanks, and I wanted to give you a small gift.”

Silver paused. “A gift, ma’am? That’s hardly necessary.”

Miranda held out the small book. “You might find it of some interest.”

Silver walked around the desk and took it from her. “There was no need.”

“I know that.” Miranda said with a small smile. “Our time aboard your ship has been exceedingly interesting and I thought I’d leave you with a token to remember us by.”

“Ah,” Silver’s fingertips fluttered over the cover, as he read the title and set it aside.

“Not that you need a physical token of course,” Miranda said wryly. “I’m sure the memories will be more than enough.”

Silver exhaled softly. “You are exceedingly perceptive, ma’am.”  He reached for her hand. “May I?”

“Please.”

Silver brushed his lips softly over the back of her hand, holding it gently within his own. “Thank you for the gift.”

 *  *  *

Later that day while Miranda rested and James had made his way to the very prow of the ship, standing watch as though the wind would hasten the sails if he stayed there, Thomas walked along the deck idly.

He moved casually along the railing towards the captain’s cabin until he was close enough and then he simply headed for the door. His hand was on the handle and he started to open it.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

Thomas turned to see the tall muscled blonde ( _Billy,_ he recalled) standing beside him.

Thomas straightened his shoulders. He wasn’t short of stature himself, by any means, but this young man was a giant. “I need to speak with Captain Silver, please.”

“He doesn’t want to speak with you.” Billy declared. “So turn around and walk the other way, unless you’d like to be confined to your quarters once more.”

Thomas stood his ground. “Would you be so good as to tell the captain that I wish to speak with him.”

Billy stared at him. “Fine. But it’s on your own head.” He rapped on the door and pushed it open. “Captain, someone to speak with you.” He nodded at Thomas. “Go on then.”

Thomas stepped inside the half-gloom of the cabin and looked around. In the shadows of the afternoon it took him a moment to adjust.

“And what do you wish to speak with me about, my lord?” came the soft rasp of the pirate captain from those same shadows.

Thomas turned to face him. Silver was sitting in the window seat, his eyes on the sea outside.

“I came to ask a question and a favor.” Thomas noticed the book lying on the window seat beside Silver, and recognized it.

“Indeed, do tell.” Silver sounded only vaguely curious.

So Thomas drew closer. “What are your intentions towards James?”

 “My intentions.” Silver repeated. “And if I said, I held no intentions towards him, what would your answer be?”

“That I don’t believe you.” Thomas answered.

Silver smiled, still gazing out at sea. “I will not tell you what my intentions towards your cousin are, Mr. Barlow." He stressed the name, and Thomas hid his smile. "But I can tell you this much. I bear him no ill will and I wish him no harm.”

“I believe that, at any rate." Thomas murmured.  There was more to it, more to whatever ties lay between James and this pirate.

Silver turned his head then, gazing at him contemplatively. “What do you think my intentions are?”

“I think you don’t know what to make of him, nor yourself around him.” Thomas said softly, watching his face. “I think you didn’t expect to be drawn in once more.”

Silver looked down at his hands. “Those are observations, not-"

"That book." Thomas nodded to it. "My wife gave it to you, did she not?"

"Yes." Silver said after a moment. 

Thomas didn't speak the certain sonnet aloud, he didn't have to. Still it ran through his mind as he knew it was no doubt traversing relentlessly through Silver's.

 

_Long have I long’d to see my love againe,_

_Still have I wisht, but never could obtaine it;_

_Rather than all the world (if I might gaine it)_

_Would I desire my love’s sweet precious gaine._

_Yet in my soule I see him everie day,_

_See him, and see his still sterne countenaunce,_

_But (ah) what is of long continuance,_

_Where majestie and beautie beares the sway?_

_Sometimes, when I imagine that I see him,_

_(As love is full of foolish fantasies)_

_Weening to kisse his lips, as my love’s fees,_

_I feele but aire: nothing but aire to bee him._

_Thus with Ixion, kisse I clouds in vaine:_

_Thus with Ixion, feele I endles paine._

 

“I think you’re not quite finished.” Thomas said abruptly. “Whatever is between you and James…”

“There is nothing between us.” Silver said softly. “Your lover once told me he could have me hung for wanting to fuck a man.”

The silence in the cabin swelled and lulled with the waves. Thomas wet his lips and sighed softly, understanding more than he could ever explain. “He did that to protect you.” He didn’t know the full extent of what happened in this cabin between James and Silver, nor did he need to to know that. He knew James.

With that he turned and went out.

 *  *  *

Up on deck, James caught sight of him leaving the cabin. He stared in disbelief as Thomas crossed the deck and went below. A slow fury rose within him, at the thought that Silver had kept ignoring him all this time, but had spoken to the others. 

He was down the steps and across the deck in a matter of seconds.

“Hold on, where are you going?” Billy stepped in front of him.

“Get the fuck out of my way.” James snarled.

Billy reached for him but James ducked his arm and grabbed it, twisting it sharply as he wrapped his other arm around Billy’s neck. Fuck, the man was tall. Yet James's grasp was strong and he held tight as Billy slowly lost breath. James lowered his unconscious form to the deck. He wouldn’t have long; he knew that much.

He opened the door and stepped inside.

“I thought we were finished for now.” Silver sounded weary. He lay across the window seat, eyes closed in the afternoon gloom.

“We’re nowhere near finished.” James took a step towards him, and Silver pushed himself up from the window seat, turning his head sharply at the sound of his voice.

“You’ll see them, but you won’t face me?” James’s laugh was ragged in his throat. “I never took you for a coward. Are you drunk this time as well? Was that why you could see Thomas?”

“For fuck’s sake, go away.” Silver sounded peevish, though sober.

“Not yet.” James moved closer. “I have a question to ask you.”

“It's always questions.” Silver’s eyes darted around him. "Where's Billy?"

“Resting.” James said curtly and for a moment, he savored the faint look of concern that passed through Silver’s eyes.

Silver swallowed, drawing himself up. For the first time James noticed his metal leg wasn’t attached, but lying discarded on the floor. Silver lay there with his stump exposed. His leg was missing from just below the mid-calf. James gazed at it, taking in the roughness of the scarred tissue, Silver’s tense features as he moved.

“You said you had a question.”

James moved closer still, close enough that he could have reached out and touched Silver if he had let himself dare such a thing again. There was sweat in the hollow of Silver’s throat as he gazed up at him.

“You have a question?” Silver pressed again, daring him.

James paused. He knew what Silver was expecting him to ask. The words were already formed on his tongue, waiting to be breathed into existence.

He licked his lips, and asked, “How did you lose your leg?”

Silver looked surprised. “ _That’s_ what you wanted to ask?”

“You had two the first time we met, and now you don’t.”

Silver shook his head. “I’m not telling you that story…I don’t want, I don’t _have_ to tell you anything.”

He reached for his boot and slid his stump into it, wincing slightly as he did. James watched him as he fastened it and then straightened up, once more the pirate captain.

“We arrive in Nassau tomorrow. The three of you will be safely escorted to shore. The ship will remain in the bay a few days, taking on fresh supplies and then we’ll set sail once more.”

“Well, then.” James said curtly. “This is farewell.” He turned towards the door.

“There’s little need for a formal farewell.” Silver said almost lazily. "If you're on Nassau, then I expect we'll see each other, lieutenant.”

James turned back. He wasn’t sure what he expected to find on Silver’s face, but the expression there in Silver’s eyes halted his words. Half reckless challenge, half haunted regret. It was entirely a farewell, no matter what words Silver said in the end.

 *  *  *

He stood there upon the shore, watching the ship there in the bay. Even it now it felt as though he had passed through a dream. The sun shone upon the bright sand, the sea was calm and blue, and out there on the ship, he could just make out the figure of a man on the quarterdeck gazing in his direction.

“Come, James.” Miranda reached for his hand.

They would go away from here, they would make their life as they had planned, but Silver would be there in the backround. Pirates docked openly in Nassau. That had been half the appeal in their choice of an escape. Somewhere people could be free.

James took a deep breath and turned his back, resolute and unwavering. “Come on.”

 *  *  *

“I’ll never understand you.” Billy muttered over Silver’s head. They stood on the quarter deck, watching the trio move away from the waterfront. McGraw lingered a moment, looking back at the ship, Silver’s hands tightened on the railing as he watched, and then McGraw put a protective arm around the pair with him and they walked away.

“Does that mean you’re going to stop trying?” Silver murmured casually, his eyes following the figures as they moved down the dock until they were out of sight.

Billy shrugged. “That would make life boring now, wouldn’t it?”

Silver smiled.

After a moment Billy leaned his arms on the railing. “Why did you let them go?”

“Because I had a rare opportunity to seize and I took it.”

“What opportunity?” Billy pressed, not really expecting an answer. Half the time Silver deflected any personal questions and the other half, his replies were not meant to be taken seriously. And still Billy persevered because some days his curiosity about his captain got the better of him.

“The opportunity to repay a longstanding debt.” Silver murmured.

Billy waited, but that was all he said, and in a way, it was more than enough. Billy understood, but it didn’t mean the situation was dealt with.

“The men aren’t happy at the take. They were promised more.” Billy refrained from pointing out that if the men ever knew that the majority of that promised wealth was walking away into Nassau, they never would have been let off the ship in the first place. Both he and Silver already knew that.

Silver made a dismissive noise. “I’ll deal with the men.” His gaze still lingered on the edge of the dock where the town started.

He had done something he’d not thought he’d ever get the chance to do, repay James McGraw in like, both in humiliation and mercy, sparing his life. Now he was free of the man, he could sail away from Nassau’s shores and forget him.

That was never the way of it with John Silver though. It was never that easy.

Besides, the years had only tempered James McGraw into something fine, somehow more handsome and more captivating than before. Even if he could, why on earth would Silver want to forget him now?

 

**Author's Note:**

> The book Miranda gives Silver is 'Cynthia, with certain Sonnets, and the legend of Cassandra' by Richard Barnfield and the sonnet Thomas thinks of is Sonnet 16.
> 
> The adventures of James McGraw and Captain Silver (and Thomas and Miranda ;P) will continue in Return to the Sea.


End file.
